to remember for 2012

New Years resolutions at their finest...Here's a list of a few things that I want to keep in mind and appreciate more in the next year:

1. Reuniting with someone you love at the airport

2. The morning after a night of rain

3. Walking in to a warm building after being in the cold outside

4. Silence after a crazy day

5. Those times where your back pops perfectly

6. When your teacher uses your work as a good example

7. Lit up Christmas trees!

8. Songs that give you the chills

9. A hot shower after a great work out

10. Listening to your favorite song live at a concert

11. When you talk to an old friend and it's like nothing has changed

12. The feeling you get after putting on chapstick

13. When you try something on and it fits perfectly

14. That extra hour of sleep after daylight savings

15. Colors of autumn

16. Getting your homework done in class

17. Crossing something off your bucket list

18. The way you smell right after a shower

19. Sunsets! Nothing beats a sunset

20. Looking back over pictures on your way home from a trip

21. When you end up having more time to get things done than you thought you did

22. That moment of realizing that you've come a long way in life and that you're happy with where you are

23. When the person hugs back tighter

24. The sound when you open a bottle of Mt. Dew

25. Going to bed without setting an alarm and realizing you get to sleep as long as you want

26. When you drop something and it doesn't even break

27. That first deep breath when you come up from under water

28. That moment you realize your period is finally over (or that your girlfriends is)

29. Being in a fantastic mood for no real reason, "just because"

30. Waking up and realizing you have more time to sleep

Life really is all about the little things :) Take more time to enjoy them next year!

fact.

In my class today, an arguement came up about chivalry and how girls are so difficult to understand. It then launched in to how we can be super difficult to please because every girl wants "a guy that will fit the bill for anything then want. If you're rich...your girl is happy!" Wow! My friend Lenzie and I also talked about this on our way to Logan not so long ago. This couldn't be more wrong and I found something on my friend Nicole's blog that perfectly summed up what we really want: We want a boy that holds our hand. We want the guy that kisses our foreheads, not just shoves his tongue down our throat. We don't need a whole bouquet of extravegant flowers, even a single rose would be awesome. Girls understand that life can be crazy. We don't need to talk to you for four hours every single night, but it means the world when you call for just 2 minutes to say hi and see how things are going. Don't lie to us. Ever. There's a special place in hell for the boys that turn us into objects and get upset or rude when they don't get exactly what they want. Opening the door occasionally goes a long ways! And I can't even tell you how much it means to be called beautiful or pretty instead of "hot" and "sexy" isn't even attractive.

Dear Boy in Class,

I promise we aren't that hard to figure out or please.

Just do the thinking with the right head and you're golden!

And major props to those actual men that do treat us right :)

ex.hausted

You know that point where you feel like you need to eat everything in sight, alllll the time? Or when you're at the grocery store and things like popcorn dipped in frosting starts to sound amazing? (Don't judge....it's good!) You're sitting in class and you realize that seven minutes have gone by but you literally have no idea what was just said? When you're sitting there and catch yourself making a list of all the fun things you want to do or would rather be doing? I hate that I find myself debating if I should go to the library and work on a paper/assignment or wash my hair or sleep for an hour before I work all night. But naturally there's never time to do all three! Maybe you've had that point where it seems like there are six different heartbeats in your head all at once. Or my personal favorite....you make a list of all the school things you need to get done and instantly you realize that you're in GREAT need of a nap? And once you're in that bed, there is not enough energy in the world to get you out of it.

Hello end of semester! How I have dreaded the days....

count your many blessings..name then 1 by 1

Two years ago I was still off on that crazy adventure called China. That September, I had realized just how much I am truly blessed with back here in "Real Life." I can honestly say that my life has never been the same since that semester abroad! One of the things I did was make a "209 in 2009" where I listed 209 specific things that I was grateful for; talk about a HUGE eye opener! I still have it on my bookshelf and it's kinda funny to read what I wrote about simple things like a clothing selection, public school, hot water whenever I want it,drinkable water, traffic laws (HAHA), that I've never been high maintance and it goes on and on and on.

That Thanksgiving was honestly the BEST that I have ever had! 16 of us packed into this small room above with maybe 2 scoops (teaspoon scoops mind you) and a roll and just a few other items. It was incredibly! Everybody was so close at that point and it was awesome to sit and listen to so many different things we were grateful for and blessings we had realized. A.MAZING!

I'm thankful for....

my parents teaching me young how to stand on my own two feet. my job. my hot water whenever I want it (you don't know how awful it is to NOT have that.). my overall health. my MENTAL health. my dad's job. my vaccuum. my parents making me go to church until I could learn for myself how important religion is. my ability to make choices. the chance that I had to go to China; literally thankful for that EVERY day. my boys that went on missions. second chances. nights where the world is totally right and nothing could ever go wrong. random adventures with fun friends. laughing until you pee on the nights you need to remember that life is great. deep conversations that help change your perspective. those days where you realize things will be okay again and that you aren't a lost cause. friends that never leave you. the ability to "step back" from friends that hurt you and feel okay about it. accountability: learned it young and the hard way but I'm glad that I did. my car and not having to use public transportation. friends that tell you things that you need to hear. healthy relationships. people that tell you they believe in you. my family.

the girls at 1727

Here at 1727 we....
-like to do things "Just to prove a point"
-are sometimes called the Energizer Barbies
-have a quote board that some people don't approve of but we laugh over it all the time
-love our neighbors that allow us to use their hot tub just six feet from our back door
-find it necessary to use backpacks for our towels...to get those six feet away
-re arrange the cupboards at 1 am
-have a duck in our front room. Literally. And his name is Howard
-believe in "no judgment...all God's children. I was ________ once."
-decorate the WHOLE house for Halloween
-are becoming more domestic (sometimes referred to as homely)
-almost always have at least one person blasting music. usually more
-never lose a moment for a "challenge accepted"
-may or may not have drugged a duck
-beat the boys in a cookoff
-don't need to clean because we "just did in June." (I wish I could say that was a joke...)
-have plans to sleep outside in November

Yep, we have a lot of fun! Note though that there are indeed 4 roommates and not just 3. But one tends to miss out on the fun all the time and stays in her room pretty much all the time. I love my roommates!

school was ROUGH last week!

One day, I felt sick all morning and couldn't really get out of bed. I had a test and so I finally dragged myself out and headed over to school. Just the day before, Nicole and I had been texting about how the new shuttle buses looked nice...let's just say I put them to the ultimate test. I curled up in the back seat, wishing I was still in bed, and the next thing I knew it one hour and 37 minutes later. And there I was...asleep riding the shuttle bus. Those babies are smooth!

A different day, I went to my math class after chugging my typical Mt. Dew. I ran out to the bathroom about halfway through. Keep in mind that my math class is in the education building which used to be an elementary school, meaning that the bathrooms were built for little people. I may or may not have screamed (yes..screamed) when I felt like I was "falling" for too long. A lady outside my stall asked if I was okay. I just said yes and felt too stupid to explain. However that didn't stop me from hysterical laughter the whole time I was in the bathroom.

I almost got hit by a car. Like for reals. And I fully admit that it was my fault. I was on the phone and I even told my friend "This car is going really fast" and then right after I stepped off the curb. Not sure what I was thinking on that one. Like really. I'm not even mad that they honked and flipped me off.

On yet ANOTHER rough day, I went into the wrong class. I went to my Tuesday noon class on Monday at noon. This was my day of not feeling well and wishing that I was still in St. George so I sat there for a good 20 minutes before the kid next to me asked how I was just barely adding the class. It was at this point that I finally realized I was wrong. Cue that hysterical laughter again. I said "Oops" and got out of there as fast as I could.

I understand how you feel little guy! Needless to say though, I am DEFINETLY going to pay a little bit better attention at school for now on. Cause last week was just rough!

I love conference every time it comes around. I love the atmosphere of it, getting to feel better about life in general but I REALLY love when they have priesthood session and you see what boys make it a priority to go. Or even just seeing the guys in their suits at the regular sessions.

love how conference always reminds me exactly what guy I really want in life.

22 life lessons

In only 2 weeks, my birthday will be rolling around once again. October 29th is a day that I kinda look forward to for 364 days of the year. Last year, turning 21 wasn't super awesome. I didn't really do much and had no plans with friends so I headed up to Logan late that night. Thank you to Hill and Andy for making the last few hours of it awesome! We passed the birthday candle, got Mt. Dew and balloons and danced at the White Owl and spent the weekend with two of my best friends.
It's hard to believe another year has already rolled around! I was talking with a friend the other night and he made me realize just how much things have changed and what a heck of a year it has been. In honor of soon turning 22, here are 22 lessons or facts that I have learned for myself in the last year...

1. Even in Logan you can get booted. Even on your birthday.

2. "Drinks" are always essential at work.

3. I used to think that laughing really hard was the greatest feeling in the world....then I got to hug some of my best friends that I hadn't seen in over two years. Laughing became the number two.

4. It is possible to truly forgive people. And I highly reccomend it

5. Days where I ditch college life and go hang out with my family (namely Kez and Jax) are essential. Typically the greatest days of the week.

6. It is okay to chop off your hair when you feel like you're losing your mind and that life is falling apart. One day you will probably wake up and realize that you even love it.

7. People still are not going to come to you wanting to be your friend; you have to make an effort.

8. Watching Ash deal with Jake's deployment while raising two children made me realize what an amazing sister I have!

9. Realizing exactly where you're supposed to be and exactly what you're supposed to be doing is the most incredible and peaceful feeling. Do. Not. do anything to mess that up.

10. People will continue to die. Never left the good things unsaid.

11. I learned the real truth to "Those who mind don't matter; and those who matter don't mind."

12. There's a good chance I'll never get roommates who clean. But I've come to peace by realizing that at least when I do it, it's done my way and it's done well.

13. I now understand why people stress over finals week. Cheeeeeers to actually doing college.

14. Second chances are okay. Even third's are reasonable sometimes. But never a fourth.

15. Most times in my life, I do not understand what direction I am headed in. But it's exciting and it's a thrill. And there's joy in the ride.

16. I had no idea just how important being LDS is to me.

17. Sometimes life is all dependent on the view. If you want to see the bad you will. If you want to see the good, you can find it no matter what your circumstances.

18. Saying goodbye really never does get any easier.

19. Being your real, true self really is the only way to go through life. Somebody might like the you that you portray yourself to be, but they might love the real you.

20. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

21. Even your darkest and hardest day is only 24 hours...and then you can only go up from there.

22. I am more blessed than I realize on a day-to-day basis.

Life truly is amazing! And I can't wait to see what happens in year twenty-two!

bucket list check off-s

I realized today that I have been able to cross quite a few things off of my never ending bucket list....

1. Storm the football field after a college game. I've come close to doing this in the past but never actually succeeded. The BYU/Utah State was one of the closest and most intense games I've been to in a while so it was perfect that the occasion would occur after that.

(even if one of the players did almost break my foot)

P.S. Props to Stewie for being one of the very first ones out there! Pretty sure he was already over the railing before the team even started to rush

2. Remember that song where in the chorus it sings "99 red balloons go high..." or something like that? For years I have always thought it would cool to actually send off 99 red balloons. The 10 year mark of September 11th was coming up and even though they don't connect, we still thought it would be cool to send 99 off "in memory" type thing. It was awesome! We had balloons all over our front room and kitchen and we were still getting high off of helium 4 days later.

We were not planning on it raining or getting dark so early but it was still cool!

3. True Wolverine night. Not quite yet a True Aggie (which remains on the list) but cool to say that I've done it for at least one school. And super proud that I talked Nicky into doing it too since she swore up and down that there was no way she would, yet by the end of the night....she too had a certificate!

4. Lower section for a session of conference. Pierie was gonna be in town and Michelle and I had decided that we'd go stand in standby lines just to see if we got tickets, no big deal. The night that we talked about this, Pier asked if we had any. Long story short: her dad got hookups from their old ward in Ohio. We were probably on the 20th row. It was incredible! Conference is always a cool enviroment but to be that close was definetly a change from being 10 rows from the very top. I honestly did not want this session to end, even though we were DYING trying to stay awake, I feel like I got so much out of it.

Some things that still remain:

sky dive

dance to "Sweet Home Alabama" in Alabama

roadtrip in a motor home

do all the hikes at Zions

Home Sweet Home

As I've mentioned multiple times already, I have 16 credits and work full time. On top of those two things, I have a calendar in my room with "other things" not school related that looks something like this....

That's why I tend to live in the fast lane. Fast as in "15 minutes to get home and change and be somewhere else" or "I'll hurry and grab food and change in the car on the way" fast. I'm home maybe 6 hours a week where I'm actually awake. This can lead to making my room look like a tornado ran through it almost any day of the week. Which drives me crazy but what can ya do? And I continue to be "blessed" with roommates that do not know how to take out garbage, unload the dishwasher and have yet to find the vacuum so I'm assumed general house cleaning also. So today (sad that it was Sunday but it HAD to be done) I started laundry and starting cleaning. FOUR HOURS later I decided the house was now worthy to do blog pictures...

This is from standing in the front door. LOVE the red walls and love how large and open teh front room is. It somehow got cut out, but we have a nice TV to the right of this.

View from the other side of the room.

The kitchen kinda connects to the front room through a super short hallway. I know I don't cook, but I FELL IN LOVE with this kitchen! It is easily my favorite feature of the house. To the left of this is the door to the back yard but there's nothing out there worth showing. This is standing in my bathroom doorway and the base of the stairs. The basement is all Britt's and the other 3 of us live upstairs.

Awful picture but I love how open the stairway is.

Washer and dryer: LOVE having that maybe 20 feet from my door!

That other door at the base of my bed leads out to my own balcony. It's becoming a favorite to eat breakfast out there cause that faces where the sun comes up, reading or homework in the afternoon and sleeping on it or sitting there people watching by night. Yep, big fan of that!

All in all, I love it! The wall hangings still need some help though. Somebody told me once that they felt like my room has so much going on it. It really does! I love it though. A little bit of the rodeos, a little bit of the games, a touch of China, a bit of Hawaii, ceramics from the boys, pictures of everything in between. It makes the messy roommates totally worth it!

shoutouts 1,2 and 3

2011 was one of the hardest and the greatest summers I've ever had

This picture was June 27th: the tip of the iceberg for rough times about to come my way. This is the day that it became official that I wasn't leaving in August. It was 2 hours past the first set of tears and about 2 minutes before the full breakdown. Starting June 27th I was kinda held together by band-aids and tape so to speak. I was a mess to say the least. I realized yesterday though that I had three great people that were ALWAYS there for me and while I was busy chasing the world away from me, these three were breaking down my walls and staying by my side.
Miss Jenn: she started as my roommate but over the last few months we got to be good friends. We nearly died going to a bonfire, went on many drives, made seven dozen (AMAZING) cookies and had a lot of talks. Jenn wrote me such a nice letter that I still have and was so great for somebody genuine to talk to. She always approached me out of concern, not curiosity. At least twice she just came and sat on my floor while I cried "so that [I] wouldn't be alone."
P. Mosh: Pier knew more of the background story than most so she was good for talking through some of it. She was never judgmental and always tried to be patient and understanding to whatever I needed. She always seemed to text me randomly and it was always just what I needed to hear. The day I would have gone in to the MTC she text me saying "I know today is probably rough for you. Know that I love you!" and it was enough.

J. Farns: God bless Jessica! Jess got mainly the wrath side of it all. Jess knows me better than I remember sometimes. She knows that the hardest things I try to deal with on my own so when I'd tell her I was "fine" she'd come over and try to talk through it some. After one particular blowup (again...my apolagies!) she backed off some but never failed to let me know that I was loved. Even though I hated it somedays, she gave me some tough love that I was greatly in need of.

I LOVE the people in my life!

And I am incredibly

lucky to have them there.

as of lately...

Last night I got Lisa hooked on Grey's Anatomy. Yeahhhhhhhh!

My landlord text me today...our utilites for the month are $71 each. Yes feel free to read that over again because I had to re-read four times to believe it. seventy.one.each. That redefines ridiculous!

I wrote the missionarys for the week and feel great about it

For the second week in a row, I once again have FOUR essays due this week. But I turned one in today. check.

I made a list yesterday of some things I need the Lord to help me with and even by today I can feel a difference in a couple of them.

Had one of my little "brave" nights the other night and let one of the boys read the personal essay for my health class and proved myself wrong because I didn't regret it the next day like I thought I would. I love that feeling where you're able to look at a situation you had a hard time with and then realize you just have peace with it now. It's awesome!

Conversation with "the new boy" today:
J-I was looking through your facebook pictures and saw what looked like a mission call opening
Me: Ohhh. Yep.
J-So what was it?
Me: A mission call
J-Okay. Where was it too?
Me: California
..........................
(20 minutes of awkward silence)
Turns out that conversation still comes up and still isn't getting any easier. BUT on a brighter end: 2 weeks ago I felt almost sick the whole weekend because I knew hands down that I was supposed to tell the mission story to my institute class but I REALLY REALLY didn't want to. Long story short I did. I started off saying my mom and friends might be mad at me if they knew I was about to tell you this cause I don't talk to people about it....and bawled the whole way through. But those 2 boys that talked to me after and the one crying behind me? Totally made it worth it.

Sean hasn't had to back me out of the driveway for 2 weeks. We made cookies today to celebrate my driving improvements

I am taking 16 credits and working full time. Busy is how I feel on my calm days.

Today I get to check another thing off my bucket list: eat a whole pizza by myself. Yep! Took a blanket outside on the lawn to soak up the last of our warm days and before I knew it my hot n' ready was up and gone. Kinda gross to think about but secretly I've always wanted to do that.

Mt. Dew has successfully been cut from 9/day to 2/day and it feels amazing

I can't wait for Halloween! Starts off my favorite time of year. Decorating our house is most likely going to happen this week....

I read my scriptures again yesterday. I still don't know much about the stories in them or who did what or when such a such happened but I love that I feel good about myself and feel a little bit more self worth come back to me every time that I read them.

As much as I love meeting new people, I always appreciate my friends that already know where I went to high school and what I want to major in.

I'm getting my hair done again on Wednesday. 3 cheers for change!

J. Farns has been gone almost a week and I've only gone to text her four times. That my friends, is a definet improvement.

If I end this now and turn off my light I will be in bed before three for the first time in I don't even know how long. Have a terrific Tuesday! :)

phenominal Friday

Last Friday was beyond insane. Thursday I took a "mental health day" and ditched class to get a ton of MUCH needed errands done. I got a huuuuuuge to-do list done and it felt great. Then I went to work for sixteen hours. I was getting off at 7am and at 730 am we were meeting at the Y trailhead to do a little early morning hiking. After that I went home and made breakfast and then booked it to 3 hours of class. Kezy and I took a quick roadtrip to Payson to see grandma at the hospital. 10 minute shower and 2 minutes on makeup and it was out the door with Michelle and Lorna to get food and meet up with the boys at the BYU game. GREAT game! Love that football season is in full swing. After the game it was time for letting alllll of Provo know who won, pizza and a great chat with Michelle. After 47 hours it was time for bed.

And it was awesome!

1. Ericka 2. Julie 3. Brittany 4. Anna 5. Sara 6. Hannah 7. Shaylee 8. Adaiza 9. Kylee 10.Allie 11.Brie 12. Melissa 13. Corinne 14.Gemily 15. Lacy 16. Jenn...

Meet roommate #17! I was talking with a couple friends the other night and we realized that with me moving so much, I've already had a ton of roommates. This is Lisa and she's teh one I'm closest with in my house as of now. She's awesome! Roommates 18 (Stephanie) and 19 (Brittney) and house pictures coming soon! I've loving life and really loving the living situation!

goodbyes

When I moved from Price to Provo in 8th grade, I said goodbye to my Helper friends and the way things were. College time came and I bawled and bawled saying goodbye to high school friends and moved down to St. George. All of the boys slowly started trickling out on missions and goodbyes were tearfully said to each of them. I had tears well up just outside of airport security when I said goodbye to my family for four months when I went to China. I felt soo empty saying goodbye to my China babies, knowing that I was never ever going to see them again. The little brother left to serve the Lord and guess what? I cried saying goodbye. Goodbyes are nothing new to me, but they just keep coming and they never get any easier.

J. Farns has been one of my best friends for the last eight years and for as long as I've known her, I've heard her talk about how she's going to go on a mission. Our whole friendship, Jess has always been awesome for me and I have no doubt that the Lord personally planted her in my life the way that he did. This last week her long awaited mission time came and once again: time to say goodbye rolled along with it.
Friday night we did our last girls night with her and it was awesome! Everybody is crazy busy and it's hard to make plans that work but for the ones that were able to make it, we had a blast. We celebrated in true pre-mish style by going to the BYU Football Devotional and when they sang Armies of Heleman Jess started to cry but leaned over and whispered that she had never been happier or more excited. Then we went to Mi Rancheritos (not the ghetto Beto's relative) for her last hurrah of Mexican food. We celebrated like it was her birthday and this guy wasn't our waiter but ate it all up anyways!

Comedy Sports was next on the agenda. I had never been before and it was HILARIOUS! If you have a chance to go, do it! We once again acted like it was her birthday so she could judge. We ended the night like soooo many others: on the couches of the attic of her house talking about anything and everything. It was delightful for me and Michelle to wake up (with Jess already downstairs as always haha) and go down to find fresh crepes made for us. YUM!

Saturday and Sunday were spent with our friends and the whole thing was just great. It's always fun to see everybody and we were all so happy and excited for her. I'm not sure who's gonna go on drives with me, listen to me ramble on and on and on about boys, calm me down on my crazy days, take me to the creamery for Kids Meals, heart attack the boys houses or sit me down and 'give it to me like it is' but I couldn't be happier for her! I know without a doubt that she is going to be an incredible misisonary.

"Who would be who if our group of friends were on 'FRIENDS'?"

Thanks for being the sister I wanted, the mom I sometimes needed and the friend that never left my side!

(no matter how much you may have wanted to)

"God be with you til' we meet again..."

"I knew that you went to Timpview because I remember that you always said hi to me my Junior year..."

This kid made my day.
Note to self: you never know what kind of influence you're having whether for good or for bad on people.

confession

I'm trying this new thing this semester where I'm fairly serious about school. Not missing, doing all the assignments...you know! Things that people typically do out of common sense. And not only do the stuff but be sincere about it. No sooner than I made this commitment, a professor gave us an assignment that almost made me quit immediatly. "Do your 'I will allow myself to...' assignment as private writing in a public way. Remember to look deep and really push yourself! Make it worth it. And yes...we're pulling these up in class Friday." So! Hello health and wellness class and the world...let's begin! ;)
This picture is of me and my sisters. Obviously. What you probably don't know though is that this Chantel is VASTLY different from 'present day' Chantel. This was before life happened to me. With 2 exceptions, I still thought that life was just peachy alllll the time. Exception 1 had been dealt with and exception 2 is still a work in progress but I was ignoring it then. This was when I believed everything that people said to me, no questions asked. I didn't yet know what it felt like to be truly hurt. And more painful than anything else, to be hurt by somebody close to me that I trusted 100%. I thought "heartbreak" was a ridiculous term but in 2 years I'd learn it the hard way; collapsed in my bathroom and throwing up. I had this grand idea in my mind what relationships were and the way my future husband (aka Prince Charming of course) would come into my life.

A little while after this, I learned a lot of lessons. Some the hard way and I fully acknowledge that I brought it upon myself. Somewhere along the way, I lost my image of marriage and love and thought very little of it. I hated it even. I buried my desires by telling myself that it was a lie and I didn't want it. I told myself hookups were easier. I decided to act out of "fun" more than anything else. As me and one of my best friends discussed yesterday, this is not only false, but it makes everything worse. Some of the hardest conversations are the ones where somebody thinks so highly of a guy, and I'm dying inside because I feel like they're awful because of the way that I let them treat me. "Friends with benefits" "make out buddies" "non-commital"....it's all a bunch of bull to be honest. But it's easier that way. That way you aren't expected to talk about the hard things. That way you don't have to put yourself out there. That way, you know without a doubt, that you will never hurt as bad as you did before.

But every so often I remember why the risk was worth it. How fun it was to feel like you had a constant best friend. A "go to" person. Somebody that could make you laugh and turn your whole day around and have that person not only be fun to kiss, but mean something to you. Sure, I can lie and tell myself that I never want to get married but I know it's a lie. And everytime I hold a baby I remember how my whole life, I've wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Yes, relationships can be awful. Yes, they can hurt you. But they can be some of the greatest things too. So, starting today I will allow myself to be loved again.

best.purchase.ever

I LOVE me some Kenny Chesney. I LOVE some Billy Currington. LOVE Uncle Kracker. LOVE LOVE Luke Bryan. Freakin lovvvvvve Tim McGRAW! But something about these boys just make me all crazy like no other band/boy can do!

I'll give you one guess where I'll be Friday night....

BRING ON round #3