As hard as it was, I learned a very important lesson that day. After I cleaned myself up and let the swelling in my face go down a little bit, I went into work. I was late but I still went. People still needed to be fed and put to bed. When I got out of work, the sun had gone down. When I woke up the next morning, the sun still came up. LIFE STILL WENT ON. I knew that things would never be the same. I knew I couldn't trust them or count on them and that for the time being, our frienships were over. For the first time in my life, I realized that life really could go on after cutting people out. Especially if the people treat me crappy and make me feel bad. It was hard, but it was possible.
Since that horrendus week, I have never been better. I have been so much more of myself. I feel GOOD about myself and know that I'm worth something and worth standing up for. I have a genuine self confidence. I know that the friends I have are great. Do I have a wall around my heart, comparable to the Great Wall of China? You bet I do! But the important thing is that I'm working on it and I'm slowly starting to let people in again.
I'm not sure why I felt that I needed to post this but for some reason I did. It's something that has been on my mind A LOTTTTT lately and pretty much the story of my last 6 months. It's hard and I'd never want to go through it again. As much as I miss the way things used to be, I still wouldn't trade where I am now to go back to them. Do I think about them all the time? Yes. Do I wish that I could still call or text them anytime? You bet. Do I wish that they'd still come and surprise me at midnight on random nights? Of course. Do I wish that I felt like I could trust them? Uhhh yeah. Do I get way sad thinking about how much they know about me and who they spread that information to? Absoultly. Do I regret being friends with them for as long as I was and the memories we had? Not for a second.
Moral of the story?...
"People change and things go wrong...but always remember LIFE GOES ON"