letters letters letters

Dear Mr. Demanding.
Please stop laying there and just yelling at me. If you had gotten up to get things for yourself to begin with, you wouldn't have the problems you have now! There are more people than just you in this world. Odd concept I know...try to wrap your brain around it!

Dear Mr. Heavy Drinkers.
I still think drinking is nasty. But thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for shouting down from your balcony while I stood there and froze to death. Thanks for the cat calls on a night I felt gross ;)

Dear Ms. Random.
Your text tonight had me laughing for about 20 minutes straight. I also think of YOU everytime I hear that song. And when I think of like 50 million other things. Thanks for following in my footsteps and texting me everytime there's a reminder.

Dear Mr. Intense.
I was down to try being friends. You clearly are not. Now you're starting to freak me out just a little bit sometimes. When I text you at 8:30 and tell you I'm at a game and out with friends for the night, that is not code to go to my house and wait for me to get home. Or for you to continually text and ask where I am...when you already know! Thank you for pulling my chair out for me all the time. That really is very kind of you! But if I run into one more person that you have told we're dating, I will probably hit you with a chair.

Dear Ms. Splurge.
Seriously LOVE all the food you bought for the party last night! That was amazing of you. However, I am now sitting at the bar eating like 6 pounds of chips and just continually drinking more and more Mt. Dew and rootbeer. I think we need to get rid of this stuff tomorrow because I'm starting to feel sick.

Dear Mr. Best Friend
It was so good to see you tonight! :) This week just didn't feel right with not seeing you every single day. Thank you for asking about work, my tests, roommates and of course cracking me up along the way. Thank you for letting me always make myself at home at your house. I love you!

Dear MS. Best Friend
I love you too! Thank you for the hilarious stories while I sit on the countertops and you dance around the kitchen. I love how excited you get when you start talking but then dead stop to hurry and text somebody back, only to get the same excitement level as soon as you're done.

Dear Mr. Scum of the Earth.
When you're married, you no longer get to hit on girls and ask for their numbers. You SURE AS HELL do not get to compliment my body and then ask me out. The saddest part is that your wife probably has no idea that your wedding ring came off as you were walking over to me. The worst part is that you openly told me you were married without it even moderatly phasing you. Please crawl into a hole and die because you made me literally sick today.

Dear Mr. Coworker.
Thanks again for taking that last round for me while I worked on my book of charting. I again want to genuinely apolagize that they peed on you when it should have been me. Thanks for making me laugh so hard that I almost peed MY pants and a HUUUUUGE thank you for only joking around about throwing the pan of puke to me :) what a pal!

Dear Mr. Moodswings
I'm sorry that you have stuff going on right now. But you are not the only one that has issues in life. I'm sorry if that's rude but you really aren't :( Thanks for at least sometimes attempting to be my friend, but I need somebody a little more stable. You're a blast to hang out with and I love talking to you, but I never know where we stand on things or how you're feeling from one day to the next and I don't appreciate that you'll just drop me for a few days while you pull it together.

Dear Mr. Driveby
Your truck looks so fun! Thanks for driving by 3 different times, makin a different funny face each time and just playing around. I will never see you again but you truly made today a little bit better.

Dear Mr. (s) Caught.
Yes that's right. Random boys from good ol' Timpview were in Geezy for some time. Yes they lied about their age. Yes they almost got away with it. Yes they ended up getting slapped by Ms. Attitidue when she found out the truth. I'm sorry I blew your cover, but you should have let me in on your secret that she didn't know. I hope the handprint comes off soon :(

Dear Mr. Plastered Neighbor.
I love that you live above us and also appreciate a good party or a great song. But you creeped us out a little bit tonight. The first time you came down to introduce yourself and say hi was really funny. It was good to meet you, but the way you went about it was weird. I'm sorry we screamed in your face and slammed the door: we had just been talking about rapists and you hadn't knocked yet so we had no idea you were there! I also am sorry that you've "F-ed" up so many times that you will now be locked up for 1 year on Monday. However, when you get out, take note of a little tip: DO NOT tell 2 girls that are home alone that you are getting locked up in 2 days, and then ask to come in and hang out with us for a little while at 3 in the morning. This will be a deal breaker for you EVERYTIME whether you are drunk or not :)

Dear Mr. Dean
Thank you for letting Dixie be a little bit cooler than BYU and giving us a VERRRY needed spring break! I am already enjoying mine thoroughly! You are the greatest.