for those who have asked....

I found a really good quote from (my favorite) Elder Holland. It pretty much sums up my life right now...

If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort.

If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope.

If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened.

If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.

I still cry almost everyday. I tune out for at least 80% of what people say when they talk to me, cause it's impossible to focus on anything. I'm caught in an awful limbo between not wanting to see anybody but not wanting to be alone. I blast music and sing ALL the time to try and drown out the voices in my head. I wish I could pay somebody to turn my mind off at night. And even during the day. I'm sick of people asking what I'm going to do next. "Try to find the second best option for life? Yeah..I'll probably do that."

I know I'll be back to myself eventually. Depressed right now? Yep. But sometimes that's just a part of life. I feel 90x better than I did a week ago so it's just kinda a waiting game.

Turns out chopping my hair off didn't help me feel much better either...