life was good today!

Depression and denial. These sad (slightly pathetic) words pretty much sum me up from October 5th-October 25th. They were some hard hard weeks! Have you ever found someone dead in their bed? Have you ever had someone turn to you with tears pouring down their face and ask "How do you say goodbye to your dad?!" Have you ever had to call someones daughter and sister and tell them that somebody that meant the world to them is now dead? Have you ever had to re-live the worst night of your life with a complete stranger? Have you ever gotten in a bad fight with someobody that you loved and cared a lot about? Have you ever had somebody tell you that you are "...incredibly and inevitabley screwed up."?Have you ever fallen 2 weeks behind in school? Allll along while there is ongoing rainy days? One of my friends tried to help and call me out on it but I totally ignored it. Texting later I at one point said, "...all these things just trying to feel normal again but nothing is helping. I just want to know what it will take to feel just GOOD again."....

It was dinner with the fam and mom freaking out because they gave her the hot wings instead of the teryaki ones. It was Ashlee scaring me with a freaky mask as I got out of the bath tub. It was Jake skyping to sing me happy birthday and a hilarious conversation to follow up. It was an email from one of the boys. It was a boy that kissed my forehead and told me I'm beautiful. Not sexy or hot but beautiful. It was Brittany getting to come home for the weekend. It was the besties texting me at midnight. It was somebody finally NOT texting me. It was blasting new music on the first sunny day in about 6 days. It was waking up at 8 am to get a card and kisses from Kezy girl. It was a 1+ hour talk with Kahea that was a loooooong time coming. It was messages from people that I didn't expect to talk to. It was free parking. It was Nicole's blog that made me cry. It was me finally making the choice to make an effort to see the good in life after realizing that it wasn't just going to "come to me" anymore for a little while. Most of all though, it was a visit to the Logan Ladies.

It was pulling up at almost midnight to find them standing on the street with balloons, a Mt. Dew and an apple turnover thing. The smallest effort that meant a lot to me. It was a weekend of laughing hysterically! It was a late night talk that started in black face paint and ended in tears and a black face. It was a day of Happy Hallows! It was a weekend of even MORE inside jokes. It was a weekend of Bottoms Up. It was a weekend of all the besties finally being legal :) It was a Saturday night Aggies game that was incredible. It was Aaron admitting that he's a huge TSwift fan. It was finally seeing Hocus Pocus and actually getting freaked out by it. It was a night of Megan's amazzzzzing cookies and hot chocolate. It was about dance parties and music videos ;) It was a weekend of new umbrellas and mittens. It was a night at a crowded, sweaty dance. It was a weekend of sleepovers and late night talks that just kept going. It was a night of [trying] to break into the boys house and getting booted. It was a night of Marcus texting me and making me laugh. It was a night of admiring a certain USU basketball player.

...It was an incredible weekend that I can not thank them enough for! :) About 20 minutes I got off the phone with my same friend that was so worried about me. His exact words at the end: "Well whatever it is, I'm happy you're.....healed......again!" My drive home from Logan was full of "happy" and upbeat songs! The windows were down, the sunglasses were up, smile was on and my cares and worries and stresses were complelty non-existant. Thanks for healing me everybody! I can say I am officially back to feeling GREAT again! And this time I'm telling the truth :)