joy in the journey

Almost 3 years ago, I graduated from high school. High school was a blast for me! Loved every minute of it! Senior year, I was the class president and student government was amazing, but it stressed me out beyond belief. Especially at the end of the year when I found myself coming home from Hawaii and finishing graduation credits, senior ball and graduation plans. Hectic does not begin to describe my life! I stopped focusing on friends and how much fun I was having and what a great experience I'd had, and bought into everybody else's mindset of "OH MY GOSH I CAN NOT WAIT TO BE DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL!" After giving my speech, reading names, walking and tossing our caps I turned to our principal and said " I am so happy to finally be out of here." That was a lie. But I felt like I should have been because that's how everybody else felt.
3 months after that great day, I found myself packing up my clothes, book, DVD's, bedding, pictures, hopes and dreams and ambitions and moving 300 miles away from the town, people and experiences that I knew and loved. I told everyone that I was ready for change and adventure! I was the only way that had left home after college and I was learning firsthand and alone just what it meant to grow up. I spent August-Novemember depressed and lonely and sleeping more in a week than I did in a month during high school. I regretted wishing my time away.

To make a long and painful story short, things finally changed right before Thanksgiving break and I vowed to never let myself go back to those 4 awful months. It's a part of who I am to find laughter and good in almost everything that comes my way. In 10th grade I remember lashing out at a teacher..."Why do we never get to just enjoy the stage that we're in?!" In elementary we are slowly shorted on our recess time to get ready for junior high where we don't have any. In junior high we get ready for high school with taking more notes and teachers not going as slow. In high school we are not allowed to turn things in late to get ready for college days where professors don't care about our sob stories. In college we are pushed continually to get ready for "real life" bosses that "can't wait to give us a reality check that life isn't just fun and games."

This has always bothered me and I don't buy it anymore. It makes me sad to see people constantly wishing their time away in so many aspects because it's hard or they can't wait to get on to something better. Why? We were so ready to get out of high school on to college only to find ourselves (or some of us at least) stuck with rent and tuition and having to cook for ourselves and heavy workloads and awful deadlines. We want to get out of college and on to the real world, even though I'm pretty sure many people wish they could return to the careless ways of college-fun-days. Rushing to get married? Wanting babies to grow up only to find the classic question of "Where did time go" as they get married or leave on missions.

Stop counting the days, and start making the days count! ENJOY THE NOW! I have had a beyond crazy semester and am incredibly ready for finals to be over with. But I have loved every step of the way. I loved the days that we sat in Rauj (aka Dr. Blomquist) class making a tally for how many times he swore that lecture..I looked forward to dark room days where we placed bets on who's film wouldn't turn out and pizza runs on our 3 hour lecture days..I did not get kicked out of the library. Not even once..We went to dances...Roadtrips 3 hours away with dad for a 10 point paper..I almost peed my pants in math when Josh fell asleep and bounced his head off his desk..I made friends with strangers in my classes..I almost cried when I open my history midterm and realized I had no idea what anything was on the test, but felt better that I wasn't the one that got up and left without even trying..I laughed as we burned analytical reviews on Nathan's stove while we made brownies..I spent over 200 bucks on photo supplies and wish I'd spent more...I stayed in lab for 7 hours to walk outside and find myself in a snow ball fight..

Graduation is an amazing accomplishment and should never be thought of as anything less but why rush it? You'll NEVER ever ever get to go back to this stage of life so enjoy for it now and soak up all of it that you can. Live. with. no. regrets.

Here's to Spring 2011 semester!

it was a good one