How do you measure a year?

I had a really bad dream last night. You'll laugh, but it really was terrifying when I woke up! I had meant to do that classic [slightly cliche] "lookback" for 2010 and with my California trip and then diving into school and moving, I never did. We talked about some scary stuff and how the world is getting to be pretty bad last night at work. In return, I had a dream that a man broke into my house and was beating me up. He continued to beat me until I took him through my year month by month. CRAZY? yes! But SCARY nonetheless.

So...2010, what a year! For awhile, whenever I thought back to it, I had a lot of negative flood back to me. It was a tough year. There were lots of hard things. There were lots of changes. I got depressed, twice. I lost some people that I considered to be best friends. I had to grow up. I had fights and hurt feelings and bitterness and anger. I had a lot of 'what ifs' and questions about the future and relected back to easier times. I can't even tell you how many WEEKS I fell asleep with my ipod on repeat to "Movin' On."

But I had an unmeasureable amount of GOOD! I met colbie Cailat..I colored my hair for the first time..I stayed up all night kissing..I had sleepovers..I went to a new part of California I hadn't been to before..I took multiple trips to Vegas..I turned 21..I pet a sting ray..I went streaking on a golfcourse..I got the cutest kiss of all time.. I became good friends with people I worked with..I went cliff jumping..I went to San Diego..I celebrated New Years in the middle of the Vegas strip..I went golfing for the first time..I watched a close friend go through rehab and follow through with working to change his life..I got to watch Taylor walk at graduation..I tried sushi for the first time..I took a last minute, overnight trip to Mesquite..I laid out in the middle of January..I snuck into SandHollow in the middle of the night [not super hard but DEFINETLY an adventure]..I went star gazing in the middle of the Arizona strip..I went camping..I lied to get out of work once for the first time ever..I became a big fan of longboarding..I went to many many bonfires..I drove around taking pictures and running through fountains, blasting music just because finals were over..I TOOK FINALS..I rode in the back of an ambulance as a patient..I got to [attempt] to draw blood..I showered in a swimsuit so we could see how many people we could fit into one..I got the most adorable nephew..I watched Kezy learn to walk..I finally hiked Angels Landing..I went to General Conference for the first time in years..I hiked Kanaraville Falls multiple times..I laughed, hard and a LOT..I halfway peed my pants..I spent 4 hours at the pool, then went straight to the lake for another 5..I went sledding..I went to Jazz games..I got to watch a deployment leave..I got closer to Ashlee..I lit stuff on fire..I cuddled on the floor listening to Jack Johnson and Rascal Flatts for hours..I helped P. Mosh get a puppy..I got tannnnnn..I ate my own body weight in teddy grahams..I got a new car..I learned to love and CRAVE change..I made lots of new friends..I found out who my true friends were..I learned how to skim board..I rode in the back of trucks..I went mudding..I went shooting..I discovered I have a huge love for cranberry juice..I went to the Manti Pageant..I went and visited family that I haven't seen in about 3 years..I tried wheat thins and fell in love with them..I went to Colbie Cailat, Tim McGraw, Jason Derulo, BOB, SafetySuit concerts..I got chased on foot by a cop..I was injured while attempting g-forcing..I survived off of Mt. Dew and pizza rolls..I went to Grafton..I learned how to move on..I started to love 'crafty' things..I stayed in touch with the China girls..I went to lots of weddings..I went to a drive in movie..I got my first college "A"..I locked my keys in my car in the middle of a rare St. George rain storm..I ran through puddles..I went to the most stereotypical Idaho town..I went heartattacking..I ran with Brie to the mailbox in the middle of the night because we were so excited that maybe a missionary had written..I went ice skating..I got to spend lots of time with Brittany coming down to stay with me..I kissed in a hot tub..best of all, I was happy

I was printing pictures for my room, and realized that it'd be impossible to post all of the highlight pictures I wanted to without making this post insanely long. However, these 2 made me laugh quite a bit. They tie for the "most awkward picture of the year" award. If you only knew the stories here :)

Life is crazy. It's fast and it changes quick and without notice and things happen that you never thought would. One of the biggest changes between 2010 and 2011 for me was that I not only moved back to Provo but into BYU housing. Neither of these things were EVER part of the plan for me, I'm happy that I did it though and I really am just loving life! I'm in a great place!

I heard this quote a while back and it's what started to "turn my year around" back in about March or April. I LOVE it and tried to keep it in mind during hard times of life: Lightening doesn't often strike twice. It's a once in a lifetime thing. even if it feels like the shock is coming over and over again. Eventually, the pain will go away, the shock will wear off. And you start to heal yourself. You recover from something you never saw coming. Sometimes the odds work out in your favor: if you're in just the right place, at just the right time, you really can take a hell of a lot of hit. And you will still have the chance of surviving.

There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept. There are things we don't want to know, but have to learn. And people we can't live without, but have to let go.