2 years ago, I was in my senior year of high school. I had a whole mix of feelings about everything that was going on in my life! I was 2 days away from leaving for HAWAII, the trip of a lifetime that I had wanted to take for years! My first trip with absoulutly no parents involved, my last "fling" of high school, and getting to see my best friends that I hadn't seen in such a long time. At the same time, I was finding my senior ball dress, figuring out where to go to college, trying to finalize ALLL senior ball plans since I was in charge, and make sure that I was actually going to get to graduate! Overall life was great, but I felt like things were crazy. I loved it!
Little did I know that 2 years later I'd be on a 3 hour drive with a friend talking about "life after high school" and how life has changed so much in the not even 2 years since I've graduated. If the me NOW could sit down and talk with the me THEN, it'd be an extrememly interesting conversation! I had no idea how hard it would be to move to St. George by myself and start completly over in life. I had no idea what kind of "earth shattering" family stuff would happen the night before I left, and what a lasting effect it would have on me even over a year later. I would have laughed to hear that I'd get proposed to only 2 months after moving here. I'd be shocked to think that my dad would get put in as bishop AGAIN. I'd be skeptical that I think of Ashlee as one of my best friends.I'd be ecstatic to get a neice finally! If I said that I'd not only go to China, but go BY MYSELF and live there for 4 months, I never would have believed it. However, I wouldn't be surprised at all to hear how hard I cried when my best friend got married. I'd be happy and laugh to hear that Brittany and I just flat out tell people we're twins now. I'd be speechless to hear that my brother in law would soon be deployed to Iraq. I'd be scared to have a breakdown so bad that I throw up 4 times from crying to hard. I'd be shocked to hear that I have a huge falling out with 2 of my best friends, but forever thankful that things got cleared up with both of them. I'd be embarrased to see how sad I was to have "my boys" all leave on missions and all the screaming and excitement as "my girls" slowly start to get engaged. I probably wouldn't be toooo surprised that I'm on academic probation.
We came to the general conclusion that life changes FASSST! As a senior, I had a general plan for how life would go, but at the same time I really had no idea. I was most heartbroken to see things slowly start to change with my high school friends that for 4 years meant EVERYTHING to me, but at the same time, I've met incredible people in college that have also come to mean a lot to me. I've been screwed over, betrayed and backstabbed. I've been happier than I ever thought that I could be! I've been lonely and alone. I've been busy and overscheduled.
I have had some AMAZING experiences! Yes, the real world proved to be a little bit more cruel that I thought it was. (Feel free to say I told ya so...) But it also turned out to be pretty great too! I've learned soooo much in such a short amount of time. I had a little bit of a hard time getting over high school because for me high school was associated with times that were "easier," more secure in family things, and I knew exactly who I was, defined by what I did and who I was friends with. When I graduated, all of that fell away and I was left with just me... which scared me. I immediatly set off to "find myself" and THAT is when I actually lost myself.
I already knew that I had great friends that would be there for me no matter what. I knew that I had a supportive family that had stood behind me through everything so far, so why not now? I forgot for awhile, but finally remembered that the Church is important and had never failed me and probably never would. I knew that "life went on" when I moved to Provo and that life would continue to move on as I started over again in St. George. Life has a way of NEVER working out for the way that I plan it, and for as hard of a time as I have been having post high school and especially "post China", I wouldn't change any of it! I have hard times that's for SURE, but I've had a blast and learned about myself and others and just life in general. I'm in a really good place right now and working really hard on fixing things and becoming better.
It makes me curious where I'll be in another year as my boys start coming home, more friends get married, school decisions have to be made, Taylor graduates and a possible mission, my GIRLS could start going on missions and some could even start popping out little babes. Like I said...things happen fast! So take too many pictures, laugh a little loud and live up every possible moment that you can because you never know when it'll end and something else with start
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