a few funny stories

Despite all of my apparently depressed posts lately, life really has been great overall! To say that I've been busy would be a huuuuuge understatement. I don't even remember the days where I was home longer than 20 minutes or slept more than 4 hours a night. I was printing out some pictures tonight and found a few that made me laugh and sum of "life as of late" a little bit....

I went to leave work one night and it was DOWNPOURING rain! I found this little guy cuddled up under my car, whimpering like crazy. Naturally....I couldn't leave him there so he got to come have a sleepover for the night.
Saw a new temple that I think is GORGEOUS! And now get to cross Washington off of my "states to visit list."

Kodiak, is a massive dog that I'm sometime scared of. But I was scared FOR HIM this night when we lit off aerial fireworks and he felt the need to charge them.

Lenzie and I went hiking in AF canyon which was an adventure on it's own. We were not only in a 4-wheel drive vehicle, but in her little Ford Focus. As you can see...we not only had a hilarious drive and relaxing walk around the lake, but caught 4 fish.

Yogurtland....a great new favorite :)

Boating for Andy (or Andel?)'s birthday! It was great fun....for what I remember of it.

Not a funny story...but said goodbye to this girl. Tonight is a night where I tried to call her and it made me miss her lots. Take care of her for us Czech Republic!

I not only hiked the Y, but hiked it alone. Right as I was about to turn around, I came around the corner and tehre it was! With everything that's going on in life right now, a million and one analogies were running through my mind and it made it that much better that I didn't quit. I'm still obsessed with how green Utah is this year.

SUPER last minute trip to not only see Harry Potter P.2 but we got to see it with no lines, and at 8:30....before the midnight showing! It was SO much fun to walk out and see how excited everybody about to go in for the midnight showing was. And all of the CRAZY CREATIVE costumes out there!

Rodeos have definetly been a BIG part of this summer! This night was a night that I was mature and was able to truly see past being hurt and move on. It was awesome.

Like I said...rodeos have been a huge part!

(My friend called me and my sister rodeo whores after our latest one...it made me laugh!)

power of music

July 10th there was a mix up at work that made me and another girl double scheduled. Essentially we had 4 girls when only 2 had to be there. I was quick enough to be the first to dibs going home. I was having a crazy week (nothing unusual) and the last place I wanted to be was work. I decided to run by my mom's for dinner and on the way there I got a text about Sherrie Dew speaking for our stake relief society that night. As much as I wanted to just hit the sweats and couch with finally a night off, I booked it back to my apartment to change after dinner, picked up my mom and sister and headed to the church.

You know those times where after you leave, you understand why you were supposed to go? This was one of those times. I'd kept walls up all day and even that night but at the end there was a musical number that melted my insides, so to speak. Beautiful song+emotions on edge+violin playing along made for a small melt down. I stepped out into the hall and half listened to it, half tried to regain composure. I looked it up after I got home though and I love it! I strongly reccomend you take a listen. I don't know how to upload the video on this so if it doesn't work check "Daughter of a King" on youtube.

http://youtu.be/fUSIZ_EjLm8

Jenn Youd

It has become apparent to me very quickly why Jenn came into my life when she did. Like others, she is one of my roommates that has blessed my life and made an impact on me. I love this girl! She's been there for me through all of my chaos this last little while and I doubt she knows how needed and appreciated it was. When I couldn't stop crying and nobody knew what to say, she just came and sat on my floor so I wasn't alone. She didn't feed me the "it'll get better" "for the best" "I'm so sorry" stuff that she knew I didn't want to hear, she was just there. She's somebody that's been in similar situations as me. She's somebody easy to talk to. She's somebody I trust. She's somebody that I am incredibly grateful for :)

Elder Olsen

Remember this boy?

He's still doing a great job on his mission! I love to hear from him and it's obviously a given that our whole family is anxious for mom to forward his emails on to us each Monday afternoon. The last few weeks I've been lucky enought to get fairly longer, personal emails from him and it has me missing him pretty bad!

I can't believe how grown up he is! (And DARK!) It's amazing to me that he's only been gone since January because already you can hear how he's changed and grown up and had great experiences I'm sure! It's exciting to think of just how far he'll go by the time he comes home.

He's admitted several times that he is more like his sisters than he thought with his sudden love in taking pictures! And even requested that we need to send more..."this is a one way road and i feel like it shouldn't be."

I found myself at USANA last week and it brought back a lot of memories from when the two of us went to Mr. Tim McGraw last year. With some instances since there, I hear his voice in my head occasionaly and just laugh. "Your mom!" "Are you kidding me?!" and whenever I'm on UVU campus I literally laugh out loud sometimes thinking of all his "guy chats" he gave me and advice on how to develope a "gay-dar" and to keep the jerks away.

But even with missing him lately, I couldn't be more proud or happy for him! I know that he's being blessed in countless ways. He never ceases to amaze me. The last two weeks he's had me in tears with some of the things he says (not like that's been hard) and I've been reminded how even though I'm older, I'm so grateful for his amazing example and the incredible person that he is! I think in most ways, he really is the older sibling and I'm happy I have someone so great to look up to! Love him to death and I'm glad he reminded me that "at least now we'll still get to talk at Christmas"

graveyard

I'm pretty stoked to say that depression stage is officially over :) Halle-freakin-lujah! (Or however you spell it) Tough tough tough times there for awhile but I think it's safe to say that the worst is over for now. I realized this week that there's a lot of things I LOVE that I'd kinda forgotten about in my self-pity, wallowing phase of the summer. I had a couple REALLY good wake up calls that were good for getting my life back on track a little bit and me back to being me.

These are a few of my favorite things:

back rubs

sunsets

hiking (especially by myself)

new music on itunes

driving really fast

being inside wearing sweats during the rain

Tanner bringing over Magelby's breakfast

concerts

cowboys at the rodeos

dressing up

reading conference talks

laughing so hard I spit my frosty everywhere

funny texts

random road trip with Drew

almost all the missionary's coming home

watching my friends do well

Mt. Dew never fails me

boating with the Logan Ladies

waking up and being so comfortable I don't move

sunglasses and windows down

Jaxon when he laughs really hard

I have a TON to catch up on with everything that's happened lately. Life is moving faster than ever before and it's nearly impossible to stay caught up on everything. Right now I'm just taking everything in the best I can and am working at getting back on track in life. For now...life is good :)

for those who have asked....

I found a really good quote from (my favorite) Elder Holland. It pretty much sums up my life right now...

If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort.

If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope.

If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened.

If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.

I still cry almost everyday. I tune out for at least 80% of what people say when they talk to me, cause it's impossible to focus on anything. I'm caught in an awful limbo between not wanting to see anybody but not wanting to be alone. I blast music and sing ALL the time to try and drown out the voices in my head. I wish I could pay somebody to turn my mind off at night. And even during the day. I'm sick of people asking what I'm going to do next. "Try to find the second best option for life? Yeah..I'll probably do that."

I know I'll be back to myself eventually. Depressed right now? Yep. But sometimes that's just a part of life. I feel 90x better than I did a week ago so it's just kinda a waiting game.

Turns out chopping my hair off didn't help me feel much better either...

Briezy B

"comfort" "empathy" "understanding" "friend" "genuine" "sincere"

These words have changed a lot to me over the years. Some days I hate facebook and blogging with a passion. I hate that somebody doesn't even have to have a conversation with you, or even see you and yet they can still know what's going on in your life. Good thing we have status updates and pictures...I won't ever have to plan a reunion because everything I need to know from somebody I can find by hanging around their page for an hour and be set to go. No conversation needed.

And yet we continue to do it. Because sometimes no matter how pathetic or lame it is, it's nice to know that at least somebody has an idea of what's going on for us. Whether we're frustrated and annoyed or not...sometimes that's enough.

I had an "accidental" run-in with this girl this week. Just what I needed! This time last year we were living together in Geezy and having so much fun! I love Brie with all my heart. We were hands down supposed to live with each other and I'm so happy she came into my life the time/way that she did. She redefined all of these words for me. You know those people that you think back on and know they were a "turning point" for you? Brie Gutzman was easily one of them.

Thanks for still listening and making me feel better! And for caring because you care..not because you heard or saw something or wanted to be on the "in".

"You da you da BEST!"

Dear ol' Dad

For all the things you said and did that made me such a lucky kid..

the working hard..the taking care...for being strong and being there.

For all the things that helped me grow: the staying close, the letting go..

the honesty and humor too..for being real and being you.

For all your love, the gifts you give, the man you are, the life you live.

For all these things and so much more, you're the dad I'm thankful for!

I'm thankful for all those lessons of "tough love" in high school. I'm thankful that you always made it to EVERY one of my basketball and volleyball games, even when you had to leave work early. I'm thankful for you teaching me how to drive stick and shoot a basket. I'm thankful that you're a worthy priesthood holder and have been on hand for blessings my whole life. I'm thankful I grew up watching you help with dishes and diapers. I'm thankful for those times you made me grow up slowly. I'm thankful for those very very rare times we see you cry. I'm thankful for you demanding I have high standards, even when I wasn't too interested in it. I'm thankful for that day I called you in St. George and you just listened and let me cry. I'm thankful for that little chuckle and brings perspective back to my "freakouts." I'm thankful for those nights I'd sleep better just knowing that you were home from a business trip, feeling so safe again. I'm thankful for you teaching me the true meaning of hard work. I'm thankful for you raising my brothers to be such great boys! I'm thankful that you've taught me by example how to get through hard times. I'm thankful that you taught me you need to roll with the punches. I'm thankful that you taught me the true meaning of faith. I'm thankful that you have never given up on me and have always made me feel loved.

I LOVE YOU DAD!

happy fathers day

best.roomie.ever

Ericka Shantel Ahleen
She was my first roommate
Ever.
She was my first friend in St. George
She changed my life
She took me into her family and let me become one of them
I was there for Sunday dinners, Easter and randomly in the middle of the night
I was always invited to birthday dinners

I took my first trip to Mesquite with her
She won a free bingo game and stamps
I bowled
And met the China man

She woke me up for class
Every. morning.
Even when I tried really hard to pretend to be asleep

She laughed when she came home and I was still watching TV in the front room
Most likely Grey's or Law and Order

She knew when I got depression and was right there for me
Even though at that point we were still "just roommates"

She was always down to do random and funny things with me
Even if she did leave me in the window alone when our boys walked by...

She let me borrow her laptop every day before I had my own

She took me camping and introduced me to her friends
And then WE became friends

We stayed up laughing alllll night, multiple times a week

She was always nice to people
(Minus the 3 weeks we ding-dong ditched the paranoid girls that lived above us)
But oh so worth it!

She helped me ease from "I miss high school and my friends" to "WOW college can be way fun and make new friends"
Including but now limited to Jonathon Sherman Tate
"Okay...you can just call me Channy!"

She ran to the side of my slow walk when we went to spanish
And didn't get mad when I slept in and she had to work with creeper boy

She's always been my partner in crime and by my side for everything

She's open to trying new things and keeps an open mind in general in life

Life with Er consisted of many water fights, wrestling matches, food fights and hot tub runs

We lived life how we wanted
We had fun
We didn't sweat the small stuff

Baby Mama, Just Friends, House Bunny
Always classics

We built forts and burnt wishes
And somehow didn't burn our apartment down

We had the BEST night of my whole life with Dare Night
D2 trumps E2
Always.

California with Mr. Rodgers and the Mutes
and hell on earth with the Jazz jersey in a Lakers bed

Countless bonfires
No one ever caught on fire
And lots of "sex with Dex" ;)
Easy access
Clifford killings

It just needs to be said again...
D2 TRUMPS E2

Crying saying goodbye for China
Crying while we sat on my bed
Crying when she got engagd
Crying when parents had stuff come up
Crying as life threw curves
Crying when life changed

Burnt pizza roles
2 blow dryers to get ready faster
Cheryl
Kum-By-Ya
Forbidden footage
Kidnappings at Wal-Mart
Ster Bear
Er Bear
CRAZY CRAZY Britt ;)
Cruisin in Vicky or Mafia Mobile

Er and I had SO much fun! And I know without a doubt that she was supposed to come into my life right as she did. For as much fun as we had, we had a lot of rough times too and she helped me through PILES of stuff. I will never be able to thank her enough for that.
Dear Er: I know you have a lot going on and probably one of the hardest trials so far, but know that I love you to death and you aren't alone in any of this. Thanks for being one of my best friends and changing my life the way that you have. Long live CHER!